Addiction or Substance Use disorder is one of the most deadly, self destructive, progressive and pain inducing illnesses that mankind suffers from. Addiction to alcohol and drugs is gradually become more and more prevalent in the general population, especially in the youth and it’s long term impact is very detrimental to not just the individual but also to our community and society at large. But out of all the common mental health issues, addiction is the one that is kept most under wraps, hidden, a taboo topic to discuss. And hence, deters most people from seeking help for it as well. The person suffering from addiction goes through massive turmoil and suffering and because of the forbidden nature of the subject, don’t have space to express themselves or the motivation to seek help. This results in living a “Dual Life” where one is constantly trying to be someone else when they are with others or at work, and a different person when they’re by them selves and engaging in their substance use. But what does this secret life of an addict look like? What secrets do they keep? This article aims to outline the secret life of an addict and why it is that way.
- Denial
Denial of an addict is not just to others but also to him or herself. No-one wants to admit that they are losing control and being affected by an illness. But the denial of addiction runs deep. The addict may deny the problem itself, the consequences of the problem or the efforts needed to overcome the problem of addiction. They may convince themselves that the issue is trivial, doesn’t impact other areas of their lives, that everyone drinks or uses drugs, that it even helps them to calm down or unwind. They may reject support, become defensiveness when someone gives advice or comments on their substance use, and deny that they need help at all. Accepting that they are addicts is a huge threat to one’s sense of self. It is a threat to the way of life that they are leading. Denial has to be understood for what it is, a defense mechanism against pain. Instead of attacking the person for their denial understanding this and helping them break the denial using assertive, educative and supportive methods is more effective.
- Dishonesty and Manipulations
Related to denial, the addict also goes through periods of lying, hiding, manipulating and even emotionally blackmailing this around them. They hide bottles, lie about quantities, make false promises that they at that time believe in, avoid discussions and conflicts and manipulate people and their expectations. Their dishonesty with themselves reflects in their dishonesty with others. It is not that the addict is a person who loves to lie or manipulate, it is the disease that corners them into such subconscious patterns of behavior and thought. Of course, they are accountable for it, but it is helpful to realise where this dysfunction is coming from. The compulsion to use or drink overtakes all logic and rationale to the point that it will make the addict believe that any means to continue their drinking or using are justified. When an addict comes into contact with a professional or other addicts who are in recovery, it motivates them to become honest and come clean about what they are doing.
- Self Stigma
Addiction is stigmatized as people see an addict as a person who is weak-willed, lacks proper values and morals, has no understanding of consequences and is generally a weak or cowardly individual. This stigma is obviously internalized or already exists within an addict. No-one starts out drinking or using by wanting to be an addict. There is a lot of stigma in the form of guilt or shame, embarrassment and self hatred. It comes from a deep sense of insecurity about oneself. This is not prevalent in all addicts. Sometimes the deep sense of insecurity may unconsciously be there and nay make the addict be overcofident, have a superiority complex and believe themselves to be totally fine and even better than others. Butin alot ofcases,self stigma and self defeating attitudes are common. Self stigma has to be challenged by proper psychoeducation, counselling and working on taking responsibility and changing one’s behaviors.
- Emotional dysfunction
A person in addiction goes through a lot of emotional turmoil. This is because for many, the substance is an escape. Escape from boredom, from anxiety, loneliness, stress, monotony, anger, sadness and so on. Any substance used compulsively tends to form an avoidant coping mechanism and in that process emotions are often suppressed or displaced unhealthily. The addict may have difficulty in identifying or even feeling emotions, expressing them, processing them or regulating them, letting them go. Many complain of being emotionally numb or too volatile. As the addiction progresses, the dysfunction in handling emotions rises.
- Loss of Self Esteem
Addicts lose their self confidence and their self esteem as their disease progresses. Our self esteem is derived from our self image, and our sense of self. Our sense of self remains stable and results in positive self esteem, when we engage in productive tasks, meet our own needs and find meaning in what we are doing. This sense of self takes a beating when we are suffering from addiction to drugs or alcohol as we lose interest and energy to engage in anything else except our substance. Our unstable sense of self that primarily revolves around the substance creates a low self esteem. Therapeutic interventions consist of reintegrating our sense of self and meaning with a life in recovery.
At ZorbaWellness Rehabilitation Center in Pune, we specialize in de addiction programs and treatment plans for people suffering not just from addiction to drugs or alcohol but from multiple mental health issues. We aim to bring the addict out of their secret lives in which they are suffering, and help them believe and achieve a life of recovery in which they become mentally resilient and understand their own minds better. Authenticity, vulnerability and willingness are some values which are reinforced and clients are provided with the motivation and conducive environment to bring about change in their lives. Recovery behind when people understand that they can lie and hide from the world but they cannot lie to themselves anymore.