Denial is a deadly, unconscious, form of defense mechanism that tries to protect us from our own realities. All or most of us are in denial about some or the other aspects of our lives, our own thoughts or feelings about something and so on. In some areas denial can come up in small ways that can help us cope with situations or temporarily aid us in giving adequate responses to the situation. But when it comes to mental health issues, denial can keep us in the dark for too long, dangerously long. Issues such as drug or alcohol addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, Overthinking and so on can be detrimental to our well being in the long run. Denial towards these is a natural defensive response, but it will ultimately result in remaining stagnant or stuck, which in the long run can aggravate the issue. It may suppress a lot of emotional baggage that can condition us in negative ways of dealing with emotions. Denial is usually about the problem itself or the consequences of their problem. Denial also keeps us in our comfort zone, we deny even the work that needs to be put in to get us out of our problematic areas in life. We need to identify our denial in all three of these, denial about the problem, it’s consequences as well as the work to be put in. Let us look at each of them individually:
1) Denial about the problem
When there is denial about the problem itself, there is little or no awareness about what the person is doing. A good example is a person who is addicted to alcohol or drugs and denied that he or she is dependent on the substance. Or a person who, in the midst of shouting and expressing anger, when is pointed out about this, says that he or she is not angry. There are total blinders on one’s eyes about the existence of the problem or the intensity of the problem. It can also happen that one sees the problem but blames it completely on external situations or other people. For instance, acknowledging that one has a problem with alcohol but blames it on one’s family members or financial stress. Here, one doesn’t take responsibility for one’s own mental health and the tendency is to depend on external situations to change for a change in one’s mental health.
- Denial about the consequences of the problem
Denial can also come up not about the problem but the consequences of the problem. One may trivialize the effects or impact of it, one may normalize the problem or straight up deny that there is any effect of the problem on themselves or others around them. For instance, people who are in denial about their drug or alcohol addiction may deny that it has any major negative consequences on their family or friends. They may deny that their work is affected or their functionality is deteriorating. Someone with depression may feel like it is just a phase, it is not hampering anything in their lives. Sometimes it may be true for some areas, but when it comes to mental health issues, there are bound to be negative effects somewhere or the other, externally or internally.
- Denial about the work to be put in
Sometimes people may understand that a problem exists and is having a negative impact on their lives or the lives of those around them. But they may be in denial about the effort or inner work to be put in that can help them out of their mental health issues. Complacency, procrastination, overconfidence are some areas through which denial manifests itself. Mental health issues develop over a span of months or years. Hence, overcoming these issues takes time, effort and patience. Giving ourselves ample opportunity to work on ourselves, receive support, and finding resources that work for us, is key in breaking this denial.
Denial is something that most people encounter when they face mental health issues, this is because denial is a defense mechanism that seeks to protect ourselves from harsh realities. But overcoming denial and understanding the nature of our issues will help us accept them and in turn make us work on them. At ZorbaWellness Rehabilitation Center, in Mumbai, our team of professionals works with clients who are suffering from various mental health issues. When it comes to addiction to drugs or alcohol, people have very intense defense mechanisms of denial. Overcoming denial and accepting one’s issues is a major area in therapy. Identifying the ways in which denial manifests is crucial in breaking it and acceptance is a big area for recovery. It is only when we accept something can we go beyond it.